Thursday, April 23, 2009

Jason's View

Well hello, this is Jason Gerdes, the proud husband of Lindsey, father of Jackson, and hopeful future father of Nathan/Natalie. Lindsey asked me to write about the adoption to get a different perspective since so many of these blogs are written from the mother's perspective. I told her that us guys are not as expressive so we are behind the scenes loving all of you
wonderful mothers out there. OK, there is my opening paragraph so let's get into my thoughts.

1. The biggest surprise I have had in this process is learning how to re-love my wife. My relationship with Lindsey has always been a very fruitful one but it is always been based on me caring for her needs and making sure that she has what she needs to follow Christ and be happy. But this process of adoption is not about me and my abilities, it is about God and what He is doing so I have had to assume a different role. Now I cannot "FIX" this for Lindsey so I feel helpless. I actually have to cry with Lindsey, mourn, laugh, walk around anxiously, pray with earnest, and WAIT. This is hard for us men to do but it is good.

2. I have learned that God is God and I am not. This goes along with the first one and me learning my place in the world and in this family. I am not the HEAD of this family, JESUS IS. I am called to submit to Christ and follow Him and then to lead my family to Him. This has been a frustrating but very rewarding journey of discovery. I am not responsible for making this happen, He is. It is not on me to line up the details, it is on HIM. My role is to be so close to Him that I can sense what He is doing and then lead my family in that direction. This is great news for me because I tend to make a lousy God.

3. Adoption is something that we ALL should be involved in. I used to think that adoption was something that people did when they could not have kids "of their OWN". But what I have realized is that none of my kids are MY OWN, they are all God's and are a gift from him. And if I really believe that then I will do whatever I can to make sure that ALL of God's children are taken care of not just "Mine". I have told Linds on several occasions that this is only the beginning of our life with adoption, we will be a part of this for the rest of our life in some form, whether that is leading an orphanage, leading a church that has an orphanage, turning our house into one or what I am not sure. All I know is that this is what ALL Christians should be doing since this is what Christ did for us.

This has been an amazing/very hard process but I would not change it to this point. Now having said that God please bring your baby to us SOON.


Lindsey G said...

Thanks babe for writing this post! I love you dearly and you are a precious husband and daddy! I cant wait to see Nate or Natie in your arms. What a wonderful day that will be.

Brandon Cunningham said...

My ministry would be overflowing if more men were like you Jason. You are a great example of a man, husband, father and Christ follower. I am constantly amazed at the man you are and the honor it is to know you.

elisa said...

Great post Jason! I need Brandon to write one too. We both struggle and as women, we are often the ones who take on the role of desiring and a lot of the times crying for our children to be brought to us. It just shows that God put that desire in us and we are made to want it. It was so nice to hear about it from your view.