This morning our Pastor spoke on the paralyzed man in Luke 5 and challenged us to think about the areas in our life that we are paralyzed.
I know my area! Some days I feel like I have FULL range of motion and other days I feel PARALYZED...adoption will challenge every bone, fiber, and muscle you have...and your SOUL!
The verse that really spoke to me was Luke 5:20- "Seeing their faith, Jesus said to the man, "Young man, your sins are forgiven." ***It wasn't the FAITH of the man...it was the FAITH of the men carrying the man.*** My heart was FULL...cause I HAVE friends and family who are carrying me...cause sometimes this journey is paralyzing.
I need THEIR FAITH...cause sometimes I don't have any. I need them to go before the Lord and BEG and plead for our child...cause sometimes I don't have the energy or words. I have a sweet friend who her and her husband have committed to fast and pray specifically for our baby and birthmom/birth family every Tuesday...because of THEIR FAITH.
And I hope because of MY FAITH...that the Lord will do amazing miracles in the lives of my friends...my prayer is that marriages will be saved, a job opportunity will come available, family members will be restored, and that the Lord would grant a dear friend a Godly husband...because of MY FAITH.
All the more reason we as Christ Followers must have a group of people who believe in us, challenge us, love us unconditionally, and have FAITH that God will DO what HE says!!!
***Its Adoption Awareness Month...will you please HAVE FAITH that the Lord will bring our child HOME...and if you know someone else that is adopting...encourage them...share YOUR FAITH with them...they might feel paralyzed...they might need to be carried!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Favor
In April/May when we thought we were going to be bringing home a sweet baby...my prayer was constantly...SHOW FAVOR ON US LORD. We had been waiting for SO SO long and I just knew that it was FINALLY our time. But then the roller coaster ride began...when our birthmom cut off contact with our agency the fear set in.
I continued to plead with the Lord...PLEASE GOD...show us FAVOR!!! Then I got a little angry when that FAVOR wasn't shown. Why did he think we were strong enough to actually go through that type of pain? Where was HE? Why did he even allow us to be chosen if his FAVOR wasn't going to be shown. Oh I was frustrated, sad and I felt abandoned. HE IS GOD...why didn't he SHOW FAVOR to us??
Okay well fast forward 5 months...and my view has drastically changed on the FAVOR of the LORD. The word FAVOR means: friendly regard shown toward another especially by a superior, to the benefit of, in support of, to one's advantage.
Just because we are Christ Followers doesn't mean that "good" things are always going to happen to us...the GREATEST thing is that we have salvation...that SHOULD be enough. But how come we feel like the Lord isn't granting us his FAVOR when it doesn't go according to our PLAN. We need to change our view...FAVOR sometimes means that the Lord has to withhold something from us in order to protect us or to provide for us differently than what we had expected. God's favor isn't always wrapped up in a perfect little gift box with a beautiful ribbon on top...some times God's favor is shown as we lay on living room floor, pound our fist and PLEAD with him to WORK THIS SITUATION OUT...and then he doesn't work it out the way WE WANT...but instead he creates something different for us...and in his PERFECT time he reveals it to us.
That's favor!!! FAVOR is the fact that the battle has already been won...technically he doesn't OWE us anything. FAVOR is the fact that he died on a cross...beaten and bruised...ALL FOR ME!!! HELLO LINDSEY GERDES...FAVOR has already been shown!!! Now...I do believe God wants to bless us...he wants to reveal himself to us...but salvation has to be ENOUGH for us...and sometimes...we have to be perfectly okay with the FAVOR that is shown...even if its not what we had originally wanted...he KNOWS what we need...and he LOVES us dearly!
FAVOR people...FAVOR!!!!
I continued to plead with the Lord...PLEASE GOD...show us FAVOR!!! Then I got a little angry when that FAVOR wasn't shown. Why did he think we were strong enough to actually go through that type of pain? Where was HE? Why did he even allow us to be chosen if his FAVOR wasn't going to be shown. Oh I was frustrated, sad and I felt abandoned. HE IS GOD...why didn't he SHOW FAVOR to us??
Okay well fast forward 5 months...and my view has drastically changed on the FAVOR of the LORD. The word FAVOR means: friendly regard shown toward another especially by a superior, to the benefit of, in support of, to one's advantage.
Just because we are Christ Followers doesn't mean that "good" things are always going to happen to us...the GREATEST thing is that we have salvation...that SHOULD be enough. But how come we feel like the Lord isn't granting us his FAVOR when it doesn't go according to our PLAN. We need to change our view...FAVOR sometimes means that the Lord has to withhold something from us in order to protect us or to provide for us differently than what we had expected. God's favor isn't always wrapped up in a perfect little gift box with a beautiful ribbon on top...some times God's favor is shown as we lay on living room floor, pound our fist and PLEAD with him to WORK THIS SITUATION OUT...and then he doesn't work it out the way WE WANT...but instead he creates something different for us...and in his PERFECT time he reveals it to us.
That's favor!!! FAVOR is the fact that the battle has already been won...technically he doesn't OWE us anything. FAVOR is the fact that he died on a cross...beaten and bruised...ALL FOR ME!!! HELLO LINDSEY GERDES...FAVOR has already been shown!!! Now...I do believe God wants to bless us...he wants to reveal himself to us...but salvation has to be ENOUGH for us...and sometimes...we have to be perfectly okay with the FAVOR that is shown...even if its not what we had originally wanted...he KNOWS what we need...and he LOVES us dearly!
FAVOR people...FAVOR!!!!
Saturday, October 17, 2009
TWO QUESTIONS???
Question #1
Why are you and Jason adopting even though you can have children biologically?
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27
We feel God specifically called our family to take care of orphans...but not just by donating money to a wonderful organization...but by adopting children into our family. As a Christ Follower...I simply feel like for OUR FAMILY (praying for many more families to feel the same way) that adoption is an act of obedience. Jason and I both feel strongly that if we were to say NO to adopting then we would be being disobedient to what the Lord has firmly and lovingly asked us to do. When the Lord burdens your heart for a certain situation or person...my prayer is that you will act on it. Ive NEVER regretted acting upon what the Lord has asked me to do. Adoption is from the Lord and its a gift that he gives his people...its a gift that I want to be a part of.
Question #2
Why are y'all adopting a biracial or African American child? Why not a Caucasian child?
(I'm trying to answer this question in a loving way)
Okay...so get this...we KNOW we are WHITE...and we KNOW its "different" for us to want a child of another race. When the Lord asked us to adopt...not once did we feel called to adopt a child that was white...WHITE CHILDREN need to be adopted...but it was a FIRM calling on our lives to adopt a child of another race. Cant really explain it...except that we feel CALLED/ APPOINTED/ BURDENED/ and IN LOVE with what the Lord has asked to do and we are going to stick with it and trust that his ways are perfect! And seriously...lets not get caught up on the COLOR of SKIN...lets instead get caught up on the fact that this CHILD needs a MOMMY AND DADDY!!! We are very aware that our baby wont LOOK like a Gerdes...I'm very aware that people will stare...but I'm also VERY aware of the way God looks at his children...and how he created us in HIS LIKENESS. Here is my PLEA...please don't make this an issue...PLEASE except it...our child deserves to be treated as a child of GOD...so when you see me at the grocery store, at church, or at school (or any where else)...just smile and PRAISE the LORD for what he has done! Be in awe! Jump up and down! Do the Praise YA Jesus Dance! Buy me cup of coffee and and gift card or diapers...hehehe!!! Just enjoy the blessing!
****Plus...brown babies are pretty stinkin cute :)
Why are you and Jason adopting even though you can have children biologically?
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27
We feel God specifically called our family to take care of orphans...but not just by donating money to a wonderful organization...but by adopting children into our family. As a Christ Follower...I simply feel like for OUR FAMILY (praying for many more families to feel the same way) that adoption is an act of obedience. Jason and I both feel strongly that if we were to say NO to adopting then we would be being disobedient to what the Lord has firmly and lovingly asked us to do. When the Lord burdens your heart for a certain situation or person...my prayer is that you will act on it. Ive NEVER regretted acting upon what the Lord has asked me to do. Adoption is from the Lord and its a gift that he gives his people...its a gift that I want to be a part of.
Question #2
Why are y'all adopting a biracial or African American child? Why not a Caucasian child?
(I'm trying to answer this question in a loving way)
Okay...so get this...we KNOW we are WHITE...and we KNOW its "different" for us to want a child of another race. When the Lord asked us to adopt...not once did we feel called to adopt a child that was white...WHITE CHILDREN need to be adopted...but it was a FIRM calling on our lives to adopt a child of another race. Cant really explain it...except that we feel CALLED/ APPOINTED/ BURDENED/ and IN LOVE with what the Lord has asked to do and we are going to stick with it and trust that his ways are perfect! And seriously...lets not get caught up on the COLOR of SKIN...lets instead get caught up on the fact that this CHILD needs a MOMMY AND DADDY!!! We are very aware that our baby wont LOOK like a Gerdes...I'm very aware that people will stare...but I'm also VERY aware of the way God looks at his children...and how he created us in HIS LIKENESS. Here is my PLEA...please don't make this an issue...PLEASE except it...our child deserves to be treated as a child of GOD...so when you see me at the grocery store, at church, or at school (or any where else)...just smile and PRAISE the LORD for what he has done! Be in awe! Jump up and down! Do the Praise YA Jesus Dance! Buy me cup of coffee and and gift card or diapers...hehehe!!! Just enjoy the blessing!
****Plus...brown babies are pretty stinkin cute :)
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
20 Months...20 Things
1. Adoption is the most beautiful journey I have ever been on.
2. My feelings towards birthmom's have completely changed...they are precious women who deserve love and encouragement. That are choosing life for their child.
3. Not everyone will understand WHY you are adopting...not everyone will be supportive...try to explain but if they don't get it...move on!
4. Sometimes it takes longer for family members to come around in being supportive...but after 20 months of waiting..I'm pretty sure everyone is supportive and just VERY VERY READY!
5. Your husband wont ALWAYS understand your motherly feelings...try to be calm and explain why you feel the way you feel :)
6. "Its all in God's timing" is the phrase people use when they have nothing else to say...I would rather them say..."I know this is hard and I want you to know I am praying." Its not to say that "Its all in God's timing" isn't true...it IS!!! But that cant be our standard answer for everything difficult.
7. Blesses my heart when people call and pray with me over the phone...you KNOW who you are!
8. When my element girls call or text me...that makes my heart leap for joy cause they are getting to learn about adoption and the impact it has...and they are only in High School. My prayer is that they will ALL adopt one day!
9. Ive never desired something so deeply.
10. Baby stores are hard to go into.
11. Race shouldn't be an issue!
12. I have met people along this journey who are priceless to me.
13. My relationship with the Lord is the only way I make it daily.
14. Every day I have to pursue GOD first...its not easy but SO rewarding.
15. Failed adoptions HURT.
16. New Life Pregnancy Center...understands adoptive families and birthmoms...they LOVE both!
17. Waiting for so long has made me LOVE this child more than you could POSSIBLY imagine.
18. This child is OUR CHILD...just because we are adopting doesn't mean that he/she is not our CHILD...adoption is just another way to add to your family.
19. The day we have our child in our arms...everything will be worth it.
20. Adoption is the toughest journey I have ever been on.
Happy 20 MONTHS...whew!
2. My feelings towards birthmom's have completely changed...they are precious women who deserve love and encouragement. That are choosing life for their child.
3. Not everyone will understand WHY you are adopting...not everyone will be supportive...try to explain but if they don't get it...move on!
4. Sometimes it takes longer for family members to come around in being supportive...but after 20 months of waiting..I'm pretty sure everyone is supportive and just VERY VERY READY!
5. Your husband wont ALWAYS understand your motherly feelings...try to be calm and explain why you feel the way you feel :)
6. "Its all in God's timing" is the phrase people use when they have nothing else to say...I would rather them say..."I know this is hard and I want you to know I am praying." Its not to say that "Its all in God's timing" isn't true...it IS!!! But that cant be our standard answer for everything difficult.
7. Blesses my heart when people call and pray with me over the phone...you KNOW who you are!
8. When my element girls call or text me...that makes my heart leap for joy cause they are getting to learn about adoption and the impact it has...and they are only in High School. My prayer is that they will ALL adopt one day!
9. Ive never desired something so deeply.
10. Baby stores are hard to go into.
11. Race shouldn't be an issue!
12. I have met people along this journey who are priceless to me.
13. My relationship with the Lord is the only way I make it daily.
14. Every day I have to pursue GOD first...its not easy but SO rewarding.
15. Failed adoptions HURT.
16. New Life Pregnancy Center...understands adoptive families and birthmoms...they LOVE both!
17. Waiting for so long has made me LOVE this child more than you could POSSIBLY imagine.
18. This child is OUR CHILD...just because we are adopting doesn't mean that he/she is not our CHILD...adoption is just another way to add to your family.
19. The day we have our child in our arms...everything will be worth it.
20. Adoption is the toughest journey I have ever been on.
Happy 20 MONTHS...whew!
Sunday, September 20, 2009
BEAUTIFUL DISASTER
Every day is a BATTLE for me...I'm so flawed...I'm a SINNER...I'm not perfect...I mess up...I get frustrated with my hubby, my child, my friends, our ministry...situations bug me...the desire to BE IN CONTROL is a constant feeling...my emotions sometimes are so IRRATIONAL...my heart sometimes burst with FEAR...I don't always trust God...I don't always RUN straight to his word...I don't always pray and lay my burdens before him...sometimes I carry all my ISSUES on my own...
...I'm a beautiful DISASTER...
And if it wasn't for JESUS dying on the cross and FORGIVING my mess...then I would be stuck...and not be able to live a life full of JOY and PASSION...I'm reminded daily how imperfect I am...and I am reminded daily how DEEPLY in LOVE he is with me! I don't want to be the same...I want daily to look MORE and MORE like my CREATOR. I want to deal with people like he would and LOVE them through tough times. I want to be a PASSIONATE wife and mother. I desire for the MAKER OF HEAVEN to continue to tweak my soul so that I may reflect his BEAUTY.
I want to be DIFFERENT...set apart...I want to live in my FREEDOM...I want to saturate my life with his TRUTH...
I WILL PRAISE YOU LORD...because it is FITTING!!!!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
19 months!!!
Cant even believe that we have been waiting 19 months on baby to come home. Seems crazy...hello babies need homes...and HELLO...we have a home :)
I'm honestly okay...my heart was filled to the brim today with our element students so I didn't even think about it being our 19 month of waiting day...until I got home and was sitting in quiet.
Transformation has taken place in my heart...adoption has become so precious to me...birthmom's have become precious to me! Birthmoms deserve so much love and support...I want to share something that happened to me the other day.
I was getting a much needed pedicure and I was talking with the nail tech about Jackson...she asked me if I had any other children. I said yes...but we we were just waiting to be matched with a birthmom. She looked at me and said..."oh y'all are adopting...don't you think most birthmoms are hookers?" ARE YOU KIDDING ME...seriously woman...you have no idea what you just said...and who you just said it to...I was so MAD!!! But I calmly said...no that's a myth...birthmoms are brave and courageous...they are giving LIFE!!! I wanted to cry...but I just sat there and begged the Lord to change people's views on birthmoms. I sat there broken hearted for our precious birthmom whom I will always defend...no matter the situation...she is giving us a child...a life...and I will wait another 19 months if I need to just to receive the blessing that I know the Lord has created for our family. God doesn't make mistakes!!
19 months seems ridiculous to have to wait for a child...but we are NOT waiting on just any child...we are waiting on the child that God formed and created for us...and his ways are perfect.
So happy...life changing 19 months to the Gerdes Family :)
I'm honestly okay...my heart was filled to the brim today with our element students so I didn't even think about it being our 19 month of waiting day...until I got home and was sitting in quiet.
Transformation has taken place in my heart...adoption has become so precious to me...birthmom's have become precious to me! Birthmoms deserve so much love and support...I want to share something that happened to me the other day.
I was getting a much needed pedicure and I was talking with the nail tech about Jackson...she asked me if I had any other children. I said yes...but we we were just waiting to be matched with a birthmom. She looked at me and said..."oh y'all are adopting...don't you think most birthmoms are hookers?" ARE YOU KIDDING ME...seriously woman...you have no idea what you just said...and who you just said it to...I was so MAD!!! But I calmly said...no that's a myth...birthmoms are brave and courageous...they are giving LIFE!!! I wanted to cry...but I just sat there and begged the Lord to change people's views on birthmoms. I sat there broken hearted for our precious birthmom whom I will always defend...no matter the situation...she is giving us a child...a life...and I will wait another 19 months if I need to just to receive the blessing that I know the Lord has created for our family. God doesn't make mistakes!!
19 months seems ridiculous to have to wait for a child...but we are NOT waiting on just any child...we are waiting on the child that God formed and created for us...and his ways are perfect.
So happy...life changing 19 months to the Gerdes Family :)
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
My Girls
1st Wednesday Worship service was amazing tonight!!! God showed up and broke my heart! Bil was talking about how some of us are waiting and desiring "something"...he paused for a second and then he said "some of you desire a baby"...oooo goodness...this waiting momma LOST IT!!! Right there on the third row....broken heart...crying out for the Lord to come and bring us this desire. But the best part is what happened next...I looked down the row and my high school girls were sobbing too...hurting right along with me.When you adopt you never know who is going to support you or think you are crazy. The Lord has blessed me with a group of High School girls whose hearts are so broken for our family and our child. Some of them have been on this journey with me for 4 years and others have just joined in the last few months...but none the less...they are WALKING and RUNNING this journey with me. Their encouragement means the WORLD to me...I feel blessed beyond measures to get to pour into their lives...and they get it...they pour back into mine.
Lexy, Linds, Mykayla, Priscilla, Presley, Jayma and Christy....thanks for hurting with me and praying that our child will come soon! I'm so thankful that you love our family and our baby. Thanks for the sweet words of encouragement (they always come and the perfect time). When the adoption failed in May...well...thanks for being devastated with me. Thanks for not forgetting that we are adopting...yall ask how things are going all the time :) Thanks for being excited...and Mykayla...thanks for being available to help me with HAIR :)...this white momma will need some help...so I am glad I have you to help me!!! Girls...I love you! More than I could EVER EVER express. I'm proud of each of you. You bless me...I cant wait to call each of you to let you know we have been chosen by a birthmom!!! Wont that be a great day...we will scream,jump up and down...and do spirit sprinkles. LOVE YOU EACH as if you were my own!!!!
***And Mel and Ames...Im so glad I get to wait on the Lord with you both!!! It makes waiting just a little sweeter!
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