Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I quit...just for 5 minutes

Yesterday I was driving around town...killing time before I picked our puppy up from the that place :)

I had a brief 5 minutes where I just QUIT...quit the whole waiting time...quit praying...quit being patient...quit waiting...QUIT!!! If Jackson hadn't of been in the car I might have yelled out..."I QUIT...and I MEAN IT...I QUIT." But since I already freak my child out by my randomness I thought I would keep my thoughts and QUITTING to myself.

It was if the moment I QUIT...Jesus said...well I don't so it looks like you're in luck! He covered me in HIS promises of how HE NEVER QUITS...Love that guy :)

I think its okay to want to quit sometimes because it reminds us of how much we need Jesus...NEED HIM to keep us going. And then sometimes I think he is begging us to QUIT so he can finally take over!

I must confess...I am a CONTROL FREAK...I think he is telling me QUIT controlling but KEEP following and trusting!

So today I am going to FOLLOW...even if I feel like quitting!


Molly said...

Oh, I love this one! I am a control freak too!

The day that Sadie was born...we didn't know it yet...but I had taken the boys out for a playdate. It was awful to say the least. I was embarrassed by their behavior. They were wild and wouldn't listen. It was bad!

When I finally gained control enough to remove our family...I had horrible thoughts. I said, "Maybe God knows that we can't handle another one right now. Maybe I have my hands full and can't do this. I can't even handle these crazy boys!"

I remember thinking that it was Satan that told me those things.

It sure was. Our Sadie was already here, we were already her parents...we just didn't know. I had to learn to let go and know that I wouldn't be perfect, nor would my kids, before we could have more.

Thanks for being honest. God loves it when we break and just let Him do His stuff!

elisa said...

Girl, it's so funny. I quit a few days ago too! I was pulling my hair out and questioning if this was supposed to happen or not. I wondered if we had chosen domestic adoption, if it would be sooner or more predictable. I wondered if Miles should just be an only child. Then our agency got 10 referrals in one day, bringing us up to #8 on our agencies waiting list. We really needed that. I feel hopeful once again. I pray that you get that hope again soon.