Wednesday, May 20, 2009


...I sang in the car. That might seem normal to you...but for the past week I have been walking around numb and in a fog...not singing!

But today...I picked Jacks up early from school cause he has a horrible cough.

Went and got us a movie...stopped by Sonic for their happy hour...and then while driving back home...I began to sing. Honestly I was shocked!

I sing anyone who is around...over the phone to Amy Payne while she is in the counting room at church...I sing in a opera voice, a silly voice, I sing when I am just talking in a non singing type of conversation. Basically...I SING!!!!

I haven't been able to sing the last soul has hurt so deeply.

And today the song that just randomly came out of my mouth was a song I remember singing while growing up at Macedonia Baptist Church in Longview.

"God will make a way, Where there seems to be no way. He works in ways we cannot see, He will make a way for me. He will be my guide, Hold me closely to His side. With love and strength for each new day, He will make a way, He will make a way."

I know He is making a way.

We are still hurting and we still wish that we had baby Nate in our arms...I wish the nursery wasn't empty...and I wish we didn't have to take the infant car seat out of the car for now...I wish I could go into the nursery without feeling pain all over. BUT...I know HIS way is perfect...and there is NO other way that I want...BUT HIS!!!

Please Please Please....continue to lift up our family. Lift up Jackson...he was prepared to be a big brother and even though he doesn't seem too terribly upset...there have been a couple of comments he has made that make us know that this hurts him too.

Please pray for "J"...even though she isn't going to place her child with us...we still want the very best for her. She will be a woman that I will always pray for She chose life for this baby even though abortion was offered to her many times. And pray for that sweet baby, we had the privilege of seeing his face in a ultrasound picture...he was beautiful...pray that Jesus will capture his heart at an early age!

God will make a way...even when there seems to be no way!


neely said...

Linds- I am praying for you guys. I understand how crazy this journey can be...the ups and the downs. But God is the creator of adoption...and He knows and He is trustworthy. Love you and praying for God's grace for you!!

Molly said...

WOW! I just read the last two posts and have chills all over my body. I LOVE THAT SONG! I love that God put it on and in your heart. I love that you know how much He loves you and that you totally get that He's got your family in His hands and is working His fabulous miracles as we speak...we just don't know what He's doing now!

That song makes me bawl like a baby. It was the ONLY thing that got me through our struggle with Cooper. My mom would sing it to me as I bawled after we took Cooper back. We literally had run out of options, we had no legal rights to him and we had to give our baby back. But God made a way that no human could have ever imagined. Now when I hear that song I think of my sweet baby boy and how God made THE way for him to be a Shockley forever!

I LOVE YOU! I love your heart and am so sorry you are in so much pain right now. I know that pain is intense and that there's really nothing I can do to make it easier...but know that I will keep praying for you, Nate, your family and J. {{{HUGS}}}

Cindy Seay said...

Yes, HE will.