Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Im Okay...

...I think.

Today I said about a million times to people....Yes, I am doing okay.

And I really have felt OKAY...since Saturday.

Sunday morning was hard...I had to pull myself out of bed but I made it to church. Kika sang an amazing song and I just cried my eyes out in element...but then I was OKAY.

Monday was fabulous...we went sailing...and I was with friends who love me...and I was OKAY.

Tuesday I went to work...needed to face my real life...and I was so surprise that when people asked me how I was...well I didnt cry...and I was OKAY!!!!

And then today, Wednesday...I was at work again...with people who love me...and I was OKAY.

But right now...Im sad! I want our child to be home soon. I got home from work and started catching up on some people's emails and many of our friends are traveling to get their babies, getting referrals, or PREGNANT. Im SO EXCITED for them...I mean so pumped. But I want to be in their shoes (maybe not the pregnant friends...I love you...but I have been there and done that). I want that phone call...the REAL CALL...the one where it will lead to some babies in my arms...or baby :)

But I write this and Jacks is banging away on his drums...You know what...Im okay.

Im still sad...but I am okay. I seriously believe that God has this all under control...thats not just something I am telling others about this process...I BELIEVE IT IN MY CORE. Im going to be okay...infact...I am going to be WONDERFUL.

Our nursery will have a baby in it soon...and our car seat will be used...and all the diapers will eventually be thrown away...GOD IS IN CONTROL...and yes...I will be okay!

Please keep praying...


Molly said...

Oh I love this. I remember feeling that same I knew I was fine, still sad and wished it was my baby...but okay. There's just too much to be thankful for in our lives to not focus on those things. Especially this Savior that loves us and has more than we could ever imagine planned out just waiting for us to be ready to recieve it.

I wish I could hug you. I wish I could pray with you, but know I am still praying for you here. I can't wait to see what God's doing here!

elisa said...

Molly, you are such an encouraging friend to Lindsey. I admire that.
Lindsey, I have been praying for you and KNOW what you are going through. I'm up and down and right now, being the end of the week and no call, I'm way down. I can't wait for this to just be a memory!

Tidden Tales said...

I love your honest truth of your feelings and how you don't hold back but at the same time let God take control... even if it is eventually! :) Keep us updated, you are inspiring!