Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Random Thoughts...

I don't know why we haven't been chosen....I mean I do know why...it hasn't been God's timing but oh my goodness....COME ON!!!!!

I am on a roller coaster ride...it was SO fun at the beginning but I am getting a little sick to my stomach now. Don't get me wrong, I am still learning every day, still trusting everyday....but I am ready to get off the roller coaster ride and then look back and go...WOW that was FUN...and I want to do it again.

Jackson and I went to Target tonight and he totally cracked me up about how he thought all the baby stuff was "SO CUTE." He wants his baby brother or sister...or both....to be the best dressed child EVER. He told me last night, "Mom, I am really ready to be a big brother." And he is thrilled.

Jason is ready to be a daddy...again. I know that when he sees our precious treasure he will be filled with so many emotions. I can't wait for him to hold our gift in his arms, that will be one of the most wonderful moments for me. I love the way he looks when he is holding a baby...something totally dreamy about him.

I am getting ready to be a mommy again...the emotions I have are so deep and so strong, I sometimes want to break out in a song and do a little jig. I can't even believe that God loves me so much that he is going to give us another child. Children really are a reward!!!

My family is ready for this precious baby. Mom and I almost couldn't help ourselves the day after Thanksgiving...we wanted to shop for a baby so bad. I showed her outfits that she HAD to get once we find out if we are getting a boy or girl...they were MUST HAVES...I'm serious!

My friends...oh how precious they are. They have literally GOTTEN ON THE ROLLER COASTER with me!!! I am forever thankful for how they have been devoted to pray for our family, our baby, and our birthmom.

My heart aches daily for our birthmom, we don't know her yet, but I can't wait to talk to her. My dear, sweet, precious, really hottt, best friend....told me tonight..."Linds I wish you could do a phone interview with the birthmom's that are looking at your profile." I know why she said that....when I start talking about our birthmom, my heart is OVERFLOWING with JOY. I CAN NOT WAIT TO MEET THIS WOMAN...I can not wait to see her face, touch her skin, love on her, pray over her, touch her belly (okay so maybe not all of these things will happen...she is going to think I am crazy). I just simply cant wait to express LOVE and GRATITUDE to her. She is BRAVE, COURAGEOUS, SPECIAL, and if she chooses...she will ALWAYS be a part of our family.

This morning I felt the Lord telling me..."Linds, your family's time is coming." I hope I heard that right and that it wasn't my imagination.

Oh my heart is leaping with pure excitement...I cant wait to change diapers, get up in the middle of the night to do feedings (uh...Jason...help), I cant wait to hear that precious cry, I cant wait to have a baby in the house again....oh help me Jesus. I am going to remind myself of this post....at 3:30am when sweet baby ISN'T SLEEPING.

Lord, you hear me...you know my hearts desire. You know that I wanted to adopt from early on in my life and its been a journey to get me HERE...and I love you MORE today than I ever thought possible. Bring our child home, please. I pray for your protection over the baby, the health of the baby and the health of the birthmom. I give you all the glory!!! Thank you for adoption. Thank you for adopting me, thank you for making me your own, thank you for letting me be your chosen treasure. I owe my life to you!

6 comments:

neely said...

I am praying that it happens really soon for both of us!!

Courtney said...

I'm praying you or the McQueens will adopt me soon!

Love you friend...totally praying for you!

Tiffany said...

ahhh the emoitions that you are feeling now , my dear one. I've been there. Time is drawing near. I know it is. Those emoitions that you have are real and God has givin them to you only to remind you of his perfect timing that He has to bring you a child, his child into your family. Just imagine how Mary felt this time of the season with the birth of her son. WoW. I'm praying for you.

elisa said...

I feel you my sista! What an amazing Christmas gift that would be! I'm still in a surreal stage. It's been a very long journey for both of us and we both are really close. I can't wait to see the post you'll post one day saying you've been matched!

Jennifer said...

Hi! I am still freaking out about how much you are your mom's twin. I could barely concentrate while you were talking yesterday because it was freaking me out. It is like deja vu'! Anyway, my heart is yearning for you and your desire to get your baby!!!! I know you are great parents and this little baby is going to be so blessed with all kinds of extended family. Thanks for sharing your heart and letting us on the ride! Love you and praying for your baby!

Molly said...

I don't know how but I missed this post. I so know those feelings that you are talking about...wanting a baby so bad that you can physically feel it. It's unreal, and sometimes people thought I was crazy. But, I also think that in adoption God gives you those emotions as a reminder to pray for your child and birthmom.

Still praying and can't wait to hear your good news!

Molly