Yesterday I was driving around town...killing time before I picked our puppy up from the Pooch-Pad...love that place :)
I had a brief 5 minutes where I just QUIT...quit the whole waiting time...quit praying...quit being patient...quit waiting...QUIT!!! If Jackson hadn't of been in the car I might have yelled out..."I QUIT...and I MEAN IT...I QUIT." But since I already freak my child out by my randomness I thought I would keep my thoughts and QUITTING to myself.
It was if the moment I QUIT...Jesus said...well I don't so it looks like you're in luck! He covered me in HIS promises of how HE NEVER QUITS...Love that guy :)
I think its okay to want to quit sometimes because it reminds us of how much we need Jesus...NEED HIM to keep us going. And then sometimes I think he is begging us to QUIT so he can finally take over!
I must confess...I am a CONTROL FREAK...I think he is telling me QUIT controlling but KEEP following and trusting!
So today I am going to FOLLOW...even if I feel like quitting!
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2 comments:
Oh, I love this one! I am a control freak too!
The day that Sadie was born...we didn't know it yet...but I had taken the boys out for a playdate. It was awful to say the least. I was embarrassed by their behavior. They were wild and wouldn't listen. It was bad!
When I finally gained control enough to remove our family...I had horrible thoughts. I said, "Maybe God knows that we can't handle another one right now. Maybe I have my hands full and can't do this. I can't even handle these crazy boys!"
I remember thinking that it was Satan that told me those things.
It sure was. Our Sadie was already here, we were already her parents...we just didn't know. I had to learn to let go and know that I wouldn't be perfect, nor would my kids, before we could have more.
Thanks for being honest. God loves it when we break and just let Him do His stuff!
Girl, it's so funny. I quit a few days ago too! I was pulling my hair out and questioning if this was supposed to happen or not. I wondered if we had chosen domestic adoption, if it would be sooner or more predictable. I wondered if Miles should just be an only child. Then our agency got 10 referrals in one day, bringing us up to #8 on our agencies waiting list. We really needed that. I feel hopeful once again. I pray that you get that hope again soon.
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