Precious Love

Sweet Love,
I was just sitting here reading over all my posts about YOU. I cant wait to hold you in my arms one day and read each and every post to you...child you have been prayed for and longed for.

You have taught me more about myself then I ever could have imagined. I am still learning...I'm not the perfect mommy...but I know one thing...YOU NEVER HAVE TO WONDER IF WE LOVE YOU!!! You were meant for our family.

I love Jesus more....and that sweet love...is priceless!!! This journey has lead me to PURSUE him like crazy and he is REFINING me like crazy!!! I'm ready for you to come home. Your daddy is ready to see your face...he told me tonight that he just cant wait to kiss you!

I love you sweet, precious, chosen child! You have been created with a purpose and one day we will all understand why the wait has been so long. You are our chosen treasure.

I love you baby,
Mommy

Like I said....my Friends are amazing!!!!

After I wrote my last post, I txted a couple of my peeps to let them know that I had written about them on my blog!! Well my BFF (can you tell I work in student ministry) txted me back and said "thanks for the shout out on your blog...I wrote a prayer for you this morning on a paver for the prayer garden." ***My BFF also works in student ministry....can you tell...we try to use the "cool" lingo...but I can honestly say...I don't feel any cooler :)

Our church is making a a prayer garden, it looks amazing! They have asked everyone in our church to write prayers on the back of the pavers and then they will permanently lay down all the pavers in the prayer garden!!! How cool!

As soon as she txted me that, I told her I wanted a picture. So when she got back from her BIRTHDAY LUNCH we walked over to the front of the building so I could take a picture.

It says "Gerdes adoption....that their baby comes soon...this week"

I also wanted to post a picture of our changing table that Mimi bought us....and also the gifts that Mel and Jess gave me!!!!

The journey is just easier when you have people to DO LIFE WITH!!! And when you have a cute 5 year old who reminds you how much work children take :)

Friends on the ROAD TRIP!

Okay so if you are gonna adopt....and get on this adoption ROAD TRIP...then you MUST have some supportive friends who DON'T think you are crazy. Well, actually they might THINK you are crazy but they just LOVE you anyways. That's a good friend!

A ROAD TRIP just isn't fun by your self. You need YOUR people to be there...in the VAN...on the journey with you. And wow, I have some of the MOST amazing friends. I am going to try to recap on a couple of them and allow you to see what they have done for me. If you know someone who is adopting then I will give you some tangible things to do for your ROAD TRIP CAPTAIN.

My Husband: prays over me almost nightly for our adoption. His prayers are so sweet and tender! His heart BREAKS over our baby and birthmom and his prayers totally illuminate his heart.

Amy Payne: Oh my goodness....she loves our baby! She has loved our baby since the day I told her we were adopting. She keeps me calm but then at the same time her desire for this precious love to come home soon is priceless. She has helped me in the nursery and now she is just waiting to finish the nursery!!!

Mel Mac: Her txts messages along this road trip are wonderful. Just the other day she txted me to let me know her heart was HEAVY for us and our baby. And she gave me a gift the other day...just in case we got the call. It was diapers, wipes, socks, onesies, and pacifiers. Also, her husband prayed the most amazing prayer a couple of weeks ago at band practice. These two simply help this ROAD TRIP be a little more FUN!

BAF Staff girls and Pastors Wives: These people have been such an encouragement. Most of these women I have been friends with for the past 6 years and they LOVE our family and we LOVE their families. Last week they all prayed over me at our Women in Ministry breakfast and that was such a sweet time. Each prayer they prayed was priceless and just a little more fuel to keep me going. Our Pastors Wives @ BAF are like sisters to me. God has used them in ways that blow my socks off. Anytime I am down or discouraged out of the blue one of them call or txt me an amazing verse or just some words of encouragement. They have stood by me during this time and given me strength when I just wanted to quit. Jess, Ames, Terri, Daph, Les, Lace and April....thank you!!! Thank you for being YOU and loving ME! This ROAD TRIP has been sweeter since you are all traveling with me!

And my mom and dad: Priceless people! If you don't know my parents then you must! They are the most amazing people and the most amazing grandparents. This sweet love has NO IDEA what they are being placed in...they can call weekly and let them know what they want from Target and GG is gonna find a way to get to Corpus!!!!! And my dad well he is a sucker for his grandbabies!!! Just wait....I cant wait to see these two with Nathan and/or Natalie!

Okay so by now you realize that we are all taking this ROAD TRIP in a very LARGE VAN....but I gotta have my peeps in order to survive! Not to mention the wonderful people that I have met along this journey....Molly, Heather, Cindy and Sarah help me understand adoption on the other end of the wait.

Thank you for being on this Road Trip with our family!!!! We hope we have provided you with entertainment over these last 14 months....we hope you haven't been bored!

Jesus PLEASE...

...bring a birthmom to New Life! My soul is so weary and I am so ready to love on the child you have chosen for us. We are waiting Lord...waiting ON YOU!!!

Jason's View

Well hello, this is Jason Gerdes, the proud husband of Lindsey, father of Jackson, and hopeful future father of Nathan/Natalie. Lindsey asked me to write about the adoption to get a different perspective since so many of these blogs are written from the mother's perspective. I told her that us guys are not as expressive so we are behind the scenes loving all of you
wonderful mothers out there. OK, there is my opening paragraph so let's get into my thoughts.

1. The biggest surprise I have had in this process is learning how to re-love my wife. My relationship with Lindsey has always been a very fruitful one but it is always been based on me caring for her needs and making sure that she has what she needs to follow Christ and be happy. But this process of adoption is not about me and my abilities, it is about God and what He is doing so I have had to assume a different role. Now I cannot "FIX" this for Lindsey so I feel helpless. I actually have to cry with Lindsey, mourn, laugh, walk around anxiously, pray with earnest, and WAIT. This is hard for us men to do but it is good.

2. I have learned that God is God and I am not. This goes along with the first one and me learning my place in the world and in this family. I am not the HEAD of this family, JESUS IS. I am called to submit to Christ and follow Him and then to lead my family to Him. This has been a frustrating but very rewarding journey of discovery. I am not responsible for making this happen, He is. It is not on me to line up the details, it is on HIM. My role is to be so close to Him that I can sense what He is doing and then lead my family in that direction. This is great news for me because I tend to make a lousy God.

3. Adoption is something that we ALL should be involved in. I used to think that adoption was something that people did when they could not have kids "of their OWN". But what I have realized is that none of my kids are MY OWN, they are all God's and are a gift from him. And if I really believe that then I will do whatever I can to make sure that ALL of God's children are taken care of not just "Mine". I have told Linds on several occasions that this is only the beginning of our life with adoption, we will be a part of this for the rest of our life in some form, whether that is leading an orphanage, leading a church that has an orphanage, turning our house into one or what I am not sure. All I know is that this is what ALL Christians should be doing since this is what Christ did for us.

This has been an amazing/very hard process but I would not change it to this point. Now having said that God please bring your baby to us SOON.

A New Puppy

Our family was out running errands on Saturday and there was a family selling Boxer Puppies in the Chick Fil A parking lot. WE LOVE BOXERS...we had the sweetest Boxer named Dazie. Sweet Dazie was mine and Jason's first baby. She was PRECIOUS! When Jackson was 1 Dazie got ran over, right in front of us and we lost our sweet girl.

So anytime we see Boxers we MISS Dazie and consider getting another one. But whew...Boxers are A LOT OF WORK and I just don't think we have the time or space to put into one of those crazy, energized dogs.

But after seeing those pups Jacks BEGGED all day for us to get a Boxer. I finally told him that if we get another puppy then we will adopt a puppy. And his answer was "UHHHH Mom adoption takes TOOOO LONG."

Oh Jacks, I know baby! I agree...adoption does take TOOO LONG!!!! But sweet baby...it will be worth it.

14 months

Who would have thought that we would wait for a baby for 14months! Not me! I thought 6-9months at the most...but we are into our 14month. And we are still waiting.

And I am okay with that. Although sometimes I don't "hear" what I want to "hear" or I don't "feel" what I want to "feel". I know HE is STILL teaching and still touching my heart for adoption.

Jason told me today...God is getting ready to give us a HUGE blessing! And I totally agree. Maybe even two babies!!! How great would that be!

So yes...14 months...and still counting! But 14 months and still learning...is priceless. And one day when I hold that sweet baby it will be WORTH IT.

By the way...check back soon because Jason is going to do a special post, from the dad's point of view on adoption. Get the word out to your blogging adoption buddies!