Just Pray everyone!!! PRAY PRAY PRAY!!!! God is stiring it up and making something happen! Im trusting in that and I need the body of believers to TRUST it to....I love my creator! More today than yesterday!
Linds
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Boy or Girl
WHO CARES???
(I took this picture the other day in Kohl's...baby fever!)
When we first started our adoption journey we wanted a little boy and we were going to name him Nathan. But we quickly realized with our agency that we couldn't pick the gender of our child, we couldn't specify a boy or a girl. At first I was so upset and confused because I really thought we were being called to bring another little boy into our family through adoption. I remember sitting at my kitchen table, reading a letter from New Life, informing me that we couldn't pick the gender of our child. Floods of emotions ran over me.
"Okay God, I thought you wanted us to adopt a boy...and I know you want us to use New Life...so WHATS UP." I threw myself a quick pitty party and then just sat there with my head on the table...what was the Lord up to??
Here is where the lesson has been learned. God KNEW that Jackson Gray Gerdes was going to be born to US...Jason and Lindsey. He knew that before Jason and I even conceived that little bundle of joy. We didn't care if we had a boy or girl, we just wanted a HEALTHY, sleep through night, loves people, full of joy, world changer BABY!!! And praise you LORD...even though he is only 4, he changes my world every day and brings JOY to people. God knew.
So with our adoption underway I am trusting, knowing that God still KNOWS!!! Its weird going to Target or cute baby boutiques and really wanting to buy baby stuff and not knowing if I should buy girl or boy clothes. I bet God gets a kick out of me in those stores...."Linds, I know what you will hold." Makes me want to shout for JOY (side note: God if you could just give us a glimpse of what is ours or should I say YOURS).
There aren't any FOR sures when having children biologically or adopting. I couldn't PICK what gender I was going to have...God chose Jackson to be in our family. Just as he has chosen our next baby. Jackson FITS us in every way. I know Nathan and Natalie will FIT as well.
Lord, I Love you! I praise you for adoption. Its such a glorious mystery yet you have it planned out...detail by detail! I am sure you have color coded the WHOLE thing (for those of you who don't know I am an organizational freak). Thank you for being my adoption planner, thank you that I really don't have to wonder...you have it all under control. You know if we will have a NATHAN or a NATALIE...or BOTH (I mean really at this point...go ahead...give us 2). I LOVE YOU! I mean I really love you! Thank you Jesus! Oh yeah by the way...if you give us 2 will you give us a Nanny as well :)
(I took this picture the other day in Kohl's...baby fever!)
When we first started our adoption journey we wanted a little boy and we were going to name him Nathan. But we quickly realized with our agency that we couldn't pick the gender of our child, we couldn't specify a boy or a girl. At first I was so upset and confused because I really thought we were being called to bring another little boy into our family through adoption. I remember sitting at my kitchen table, reading a letter from New Life, informing me that we couldn't pick the gender of our child. Floods of emotions ran over me.
"Okay God, I thought you wanted us to adopt a boy...and I know you want us to use New Life...so WHATS UP." I threw myself a quick pitty party and then just sat there with my head on the table...what was the Lord up to??
Here is where the lesson has been learned. God KNEW that Jackson Gray Gerdes was going to be born to US...Jason and Lindsey. He knew that before Jason and I even conceived that little bundle of joy. We didn't care if we had a boy or girl, we just wanted a HEALTHY, sleep through night, loves people, full of joy, world changer BABY!!! And praise you LORD...even though he is only 4, he changes my world every day and brings JOY to people. God knew.
So with our adoption underway I am trusting, knowing that God still KNOWS!!! Its weird going to Target or cute baby boutiques and really wanting to buy baby stuff and not knowing if I should buy girl or boy clothes. I bet God gets a kick out of me in those stores...."Linds, I know what you will hold." Makes me want to shout for JOY (side note: God if you could just give us a glimpse of what is ours or should I say YOURS).
There aren't any FOR sures when having children biologically or adopting. I couldn't PICK what gender I was going to have...God chose Jackson to be in our family. Just as he has chosen our next baby. Jackson FITS us in every way. I know Nathan and Natalie will FIT as well.
Lord, I Love you! I praise you for adoption. Its such a glorious mystery yet you have it planned out...detail by detail! I am sure you have color coded the WHOLE thing (for those of you who don't know I am an organizational freak). Thank you for being my adoption planner, thank you that I really don't have to wonder...you have it all under control. You know if we will have a NATHAN or a NATALIE...or BOTH (I mean really at this point...go ahead...give us 2). I LOVE YOU! I mean I really love you! Thank you Jesus! Oh yeah by the way...if you give us 2 will you give us a Nanny as well :)
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Timeline
I was thinking the other day about the timeline of our adoption...I am going to attempt to put it on paper (or blog I guess). Jason and I knew we wanted to adopt even before we were married. Basically he told me I would need to be willing to live in a hut in Africa and I told him he needed to be willing to adopt...we agreed!
Finally in September 2007: God opened our eyes to NEW LIFE ADOPTION AGENCY!!!! It was amazing how it happened. We were telling our Pastor that we were really having a hard time find an adoption agency that we felt secure with and passionate about. He told us about New Life, he actually grew up at the church that started New Life. So we gave them a call and they sent us a packet.
October 26th and 27th, 2007: Our wonderful friends put on a Adoption Garage Sale...and we raised $2,700, I was so amazed!
November 29th, 2007: Had our first meeting with New Life. It was amazing! We fell in love with Cindy and she gave us so much encouragement! AND SO MUCH PAPER WORK!!!
January 2008: We went back to New Life for another meeting. This time we met with Sara Black, the director of New Life. This meeting was mainly for Sara to ask us EVERY question you could possibly think of. The women of New Life really get to know the adoptive family, we love this about them.
February 13th, 2008: We completed our Home Study. Sara drove to Corpus and spent some time with Jackson and also spent time looking around our home. I was so nervous...I mean I was freaking out on the inside. But it went great! Our family LOVES Sara and Cindy! These women have really been amazing...its worth using New Life just to get to know them. They are incredible women who love Jesus, love birth moms, love babies, and love adoptive families...and they both have adopted so THEY GET IT!!!!
From January 20078- March 2008: We were doing LOTS of paper work, having our house inspected, reading lots of books and doing reports, getting check ups from our doctor, TB test, working on our profile, and working on picture pages of ourselves for our birth mom to look at. And PRAYING!!!! (still doing that)
May 3rd, 2008: Adoption Training at New Life
August 21st, 2008: We had another visit by Sara Black. Every 6 months until the adoption in finalized our agency comes for a visit!
September 2008 and October 2008: Waiting!!!! But God is at work and he is bringing people into my "world" with a passion for adoption. The people I am getting to connect with are amazing and its really helping during this time of waiting!!!
*I am going to look through my calendar and make sure I didn't forget anything!!!
August 2005: We weren't sure if we were going to do international or domestic. International adoption has always been what I thought we would do. But then one day I came home from a meeting and Jason was sitting at the computer, he had been researching adoption, he said "What do you think about adopting from America and adopting either a bi-racial or African American child." I thought about if for a brief moment and said "YES." We started researching adoption agencies at that moment! Through research we did research international adoption...we still feel called to adopt internationally at some point but know for right now we need to focus on domestic adoption.
Okay so this is where is gets blurry,
from August 2005-August 2007: We were with two different agencies and things just didn't feel right. I cant really explain the the uneasiness but we both knew God had something else.
Finally in September 2007: God opened our eyes to NEW LIFE ADOPTION AGENCY!!!! It was amazing how it happened. We were telling our Pastor that we were really having a hard time find an adoption agency that we felt secure with and passionate about. He told us about New Life, he actually grew up at the church that started New Life. So we gave them a call and they sent us a packet.
October 26th and 27th, 2007: Our wonderful friends put on a Adoption Garage Sale...and we raised $2,700, I was so amazed!
November 29th, 2007: Had our first meeting with New Life. It was amazing! We fell in love with Cindy and she gave us so much encouragement! AND SO MUCH PAPER WORK!!!
January 2008: We went back to New Life for another meeting. This time we met with Sara Black, the director of New Life. This meeting was mainly for Sara to ask us EVERY question you could possibly think of. The women of New Life really get to know the adoptive family, we love this about them.
February 13th, 2008: We completed our Home Study. Sara drove to Corpus and spent some time with Jackson and also spent time looking around our home. I was so nervous...I mean I was freaking out on the inside. But it went great! Our family LOVES Sara and Cindy! These women have really been amazing...its worth using New Life just to get to know them. They are incredible women who love Jesus, love birth moms, love babies, and love adoptive families...and they both have adopted so THEY GET IT!!!!
From January 20078- March 2008: We were doing LOTS of paper work, having our house inspected, reading lots of books and doing reports, getting check ups from our doctor, TB test, working on our profile, and working on picture pages of ourselves for our birth mom to look at. And PRAYING!!!! (still doing that)
May 3rd, 2008: Adoption Training at New Life
August 21st, 2008: We had another visit by Sara Black. Every 6 months until the adoption in finalized our agency comes for a visit!
September 2008 and October 2008: Waiting!!!! But God is at work and he is bringing people into my "world" with a passion for adoption. The people I am getting to connect with are amazing and its really helping during this time of waiting!!!
*I am going to look through my calendar and make sure I didn't forget anything!!!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Been too long
Well its been a while since I have blogged about our adoption. Mainly because I haven't had anything NEW to blog about! Still same old same old. Still NO news! Still NO baby!
Okay so I emailed our adoption agency last week and said "UH why isn't this happening faster." Our wonderful adoption director, Cindy, asked if she could give my email address to another family that has recently adopted from New Life...so the wife could encourage me. Obviously I said YES.
I received an email from Heather, the encourager, just several days later. It was so nice to have someone "get" my feelings and not think I am totally crazy. Adoption is hard and it hurts! Its like nothing I have ever experienced. In our case its been SLOW.
But something I have been reminded of over the last several days....from Jason, Heather, and my wonderful BIBLE (oh yes this is the book for me) is that God IS working! We don't always see it but he IS working! I can rest in HIM knowing that he has EVERYTHING under his wings! I CAN have faith in the unseen and I don't have to fear the unknown.
I wonder what he is getting us prepared for? I wonder what its going to be like that precious day we hold our CHOSEN treasure.
God is working in me. God is working in Jason. God is working in our marriage. God is working in our family. God is working in our ministry. God is working in US so he can do something through US. He is working...and I trust he is working on bringing our child or children home to us (SOON???).
Several scriptures that I read today were specifically written for me to read at this very moment in time:
Psalm 127:3 "Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him."
John 15:4-5 "Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing."
I am going to REMAIN in HIM and know he will bear fruit in my life...I just have to REMAIN in him...the REWARD will come...I must REMAIN to RECEIVE my REWARD!!!
I praise you Jesus, I praise you that you desire for me to produce fruit. I will remain in you...all the reward I need is to know you love me but I know you have promised EVEN more! I wait upon the fruit, the reward! I give you glory in advance...for this fruit that you will produce...OH ITS YOURS!!! Thank you for being my resting place. Thank you for being SO ON TIME!!! Thank you for working even though I can't see! I trust you Jesus!
Okay so I emailed our adoption agency last week and said "UH why isn't this happening faster." Our wonderful adoption director, Cindy, asked if she could give my email address to another family that has recently adopted from New Life...so the wife could encourage me. Obviously I said YES.
I received an email from Heather, the encourager, just several days later. It was so nice to have someone "get" my feelings and not think I am totally crazy. Adoption is hard and it hurts! Its like nothing I have ever experienced. In our case its been SLOW.
But something I have been reminded of over the last several days....from Jason, Heather, and my wonderful BIBLE (oh yes this is the book for me) is that God IS working! We don't always see it but he IS working! I can rest in HIM knowing that he has EVERYTHING under his wings! I CAN have faith in the unseen and I don't have to fear the unknown.
I wonder what he is getting us prepared for? I wonder what its going to be like that precious day we hold our CHOSEN treasure.
God is working in me. God is working in Jason. God is working in our marriage. God is working in our family. God is working in our ministry. God is working in US so he can do something through US. He is working...and I trust he is working on bringing our child or children home to us (SOON???).
Several scriptures that I read today were specifically written for me to read at this very moment in time:
Psalm 127:3 "Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him."
John 15:4-5 "Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing."
I am going to REMAIN in HIM and know he will bear fruit in my life...I just have to REMAIN in him...the REWARD will come...I must REMAIN to RECEIVE my REWARD!!!
I praise you Jesus, I praise you that you desire for me to produce fruit. I will remain in you...all the reward I need is to know you love me but I know you have promised EVEN more! I wait upon the fruit, the reward! I give you glory in advance...for this fruit that you will produce...OH ITS YOURS!!! Thank you for being my resting place. Thank you for being SO ON TIME!!! Thank you for working even though I can't see! I trust you Jesus!
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Pray!!!
Hey Everyone
I spoke to our wonderful adoption agency today...still the same news, but I am encouraged. I have a prayer request...Please be praying that birthmom's would find out about our agency and actually have the courage to go to them for help. I am trusting like never before, our birthmom is out there, she just needs to KNOW about NEW LIFE Adoption Agency. Obviously God is going to lead her there eventually...hopefully soon. So that's my prayer request for today.
Lord, please lead our birthmom to New Life. Where ever she might be RIGHT now I pray Lord that she would some how find out about New Life and CONTACT them right away. What a glorious day it will be when I meet her face to face. Lord, if she feels ashamed or guilty for what has happened...please Jesus give her peace and mercy and the courage to come in and get help. Lord she will never be too far gone...YOU WILL RESTORE!!! Praise you Lord that Nathan or Natalie are NOT a mistake...THEY ARE NOT A MISTAKE...they were planned from the moment you created the universe!
I love you Jesus...I'm not enjoying this waiting time but I am enjoying learning from you.
Linds
I spoke to our wonderful adoption agency today...still the same news, but I am encouraged. I have a prayer request...Please be praying that birthmom's would find out about our agency and actually have the courage to go to them for help. I am trusting like never before, our birthmom is out there, she just needs to KNOW about NEW LIFE Adoption Agency. Obviously God is going to lead her there eventually...hopefully soon. So that's my prayer request for today.
Lord, please lead our birthmom to New Life. Where ever she might be RIGHT now I pray Lord that she would some how find out about New Life and CONTACT them right away. What a glorious day it will be when I meet her face to face. Lord, if she feels ashamed or guilty for what has happened...please Jesus give her peace and mercy and the courage to come in and get help. Lord she will never be too far gone...YOU WILL RESTORE!!! Praise you Lord that Nathan or Natalie are NOT a mistake...THEY ARE NOT A MISTAKE...they were planned from the moment you created the universe!
I love you Jesus...I'm not enjoying this waiting time but I am enjoying learning from you.
Linds
Monday, June 30, 2008
000000000
00000000....these are the #'s I am really wanting to appear on my cell phone. You see when our agency calls us that's what shows up. Their # isn't published on the caller ID for security purposes.
I really want this # to appear and then to hear Sarah or Cindy say "Lindsey, yall have been chosen." I might pass out! I am not joking, hopefully I will be with Jason when it happens so he can catch me before I fall. Its like taking a pregnancy test and waiting to see if it gives the + sign...I jumped and acted like a crazy person...along with shaking and freaking out! I can't wait to have that feeling again.
Please Lord...let something amazing happen this week! Give us some flicker of light in this adoption tunnel we are in. Thank you Lord that you already have this ALL figured out.
I really want this # to appear and then to hear Sarah or Cindy say "Lindsey, yall have been chosen." I might pass out! I am not joking, hopefully I will be with Jason when it happens so he can catch me before I fall. Its like taking a pregnancy test and waiting to see if it gives the + sign...I jumped and acted like a crazy person...along with shaking and freaking out! I can't wait to have that feeling again.
Please Lord...let something amazing happen this week! Give us some flicker of light in this adoption tunnel we are in. Thank you Lord that you already have this ALL figured out.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Hardest Part
Sitting in my office @ home wondering to myself...what is the hardest part of adoption??
Is it the constant waiting? The endless hours of paperwork? The comments from people who just have NO idea what adoption is about? Is it the pain I feel every time in my heart knowing that the child God created for me is NOT yet in my arms?
What is it? The Hardest Part??
Is it seeing children around town...my eyes have never been so drawn to bi-racial children. And for some reason I see their wonderful faces more and more with each passing day.
Each day we wait I love our baby more. Each day we wait...it gets harder. If I pause long enough during my day to think about it...well the water works begin to flow.
Is the hardest part knowing that my life, our life, will drastically change when our baby is given to us? Will the baby bond to us? Will Jackson freak out? Heck, will I freak out??
I think the hardest part is just not knowing...but PRAISE YOU LORD that you know EVERY detail.
God we are yours...we say YES...even to the HARDEST PART.
Is it the constant waiting? The endless hours of paperwork? The comments from people who just have NO idea what adoption is about? Is it the pain I feel every time in my heart knowing that the child God created for me is NOT yet in my arms?
What is it? The Hardest Part??
Is it seeing children around town...my eyes have never been so drawn to bi-racial children. And for some reason I see their wonderful faces more and more with each passing day.
Each day we wait I love our baby more. Each day we wait...it gets harder. If I pause long enough during my day to think about it...well the water works begin to flow.
Is the hardest part knowing that my life, our life, will drastically change when our baby is given to us? Will the baby bond to us? Will Jackson freak out? Heck, will I freak out??
I think the hardest part is just not knowing...but PRAISE YOU LORD that you know EVERY detail.
God we are yours...we say YES...even to the HARDEST PART.
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